Comment Spammers Eat Their Young
By leelefever on June 3, 2004 - 10:38am.
What really kills me about comment spam is that it comes from people. I know robots do the work, but someone makes a choice in their life to do it, promote it, build it.
Sometimes I can’t believe that people would make this choice in life- to live so parasitically, to leach off of the success of others in the form of trashy weblog comments.
This makes me wonder what these people are doing when they aren’t comment spamming. What must it be like to live life as a comment spammer?
Here’s is what I think comment spammers do when they’re not spamming:
- They hunt endangered animals
- Prank call 911
- They have no physical disabilities, but park in handicapped spaces
- Ruin movie endings
- Fart in elevators
- Hit on your significant other
- Drink straight out of the milk carton
- Leave urine on toilet seats
- They steal plants out of their neighbor’s yard
- Offer to drive and then get very drunk
- Cheat on taxes
- They root for terrorists
Any additions?
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Comment Spammers Eat Their Young
Very funny, Lee.
If I fart in an elevator, does that make me a comment spammer?
How hard would it be for comment spammers to actually add something to the conversation when they leave comment spam?
It is so obvious that it is comment spam.
They could atleast pick a popular topic, right a few variations of spam notes, pick an appropriate website to advertise and then let the bots loose. How hard would that be?
Comment Spammers Eat Their Young
Comment spammers borrow your lawnmower and give it back broken.
They borrow your wedding china and sell it at their garage sale.
They run over your cat and hide the evidence.
They tell your kids your house is haunted.
Comment Spammers Eat Their Young
They speed their cars down the safety lane of the interstate, passing other drivers in line, and demand to be allowed to merge back into traffic at the last possible second.
Comment Spammers Eat Their Young
Peter said, "They could atleast pick a popular topic, right a few variations of spam notes, pick an appropriate website to advertise and then let the bots loose. How hard would that be?"
That would require a brain Peter. Comment spammers more than likely are born out of inbreeding and therefore brain dead from day one. They come from a different gene pool that you and I.
I think Paul nailed it on the head though with the dudes that drive to the end of the safety lane and barge in at the last moment. This is the same type of quality that a comment spammer exudes.
In fact, they probably are a comment spammer too. So the next time you see one of these guys on the Interstate -- wave them on over politely and when they go for it, step on the gas so they hit you in the side of the car. They will get the Insurance ding and the ticket for it to boot. Then we can chalk one up for the good guys!!!
Comment Spammers Eat Their Young
I'm really diggin the other ideas and Paul did have a good one about the people who barge into the lane at the end.
I've been in more than on battle with those people and it always bugs me that people just make room for them as if they are playing the game by the same rules as everyone else.
Comment Spammers Eat Their Young
As one of 'those people' (merge at the end), I can offer some insight.
Generally speaking we're already cruising, we're going fast enough that we can see any openings and there just aren't any.
So, we keep driving, hoping we'll find one so that we can merge without:
1. Slowing people down behind us
2. Slowing people down in the lane we're merging into
I'd say, about 80% of the time I can fulfill these obligations. Sometimes it's right when I find out a lane's ending, other times it takes longer.
To me, the flow of traffic is more important than the sensitivities of drivers.
The problem becomes when I've tried to essentially be nice, and I've ended up somewhere near the end of the lane.
People don't want to let you in, some will actively get in your way, and they generally get ticked off (get at the back of the line!)... Often not even realising that there is in fact a reason for some of the people that do this.
Yes, some people are just trying to get as far ahead as they can. I'm not (generally) one of those people. My biggets concern (coming from Toronto, one of the worst places for traffic in North America) is with traffic flow. I don't mind people merging in front of me, don't mind them merging behind me. It's only when people are travelling on the shoulder, or are stopping traffic flow that I get ticked.
Hope that helps give some insight :) If you want more info, or want to rag on 'one of those' personally, feel free to drop me a line (jer .at. notsure.net). :)
Comment Spammers Eat Their Young
I appreciate your honesty Jeremy. Very cool of you to choose not be anonymous and choose the side of the mergers.
It's a funny thing to watch in Seattle, where people seem to be hyper-sensitive about not being "that person", which is not always good for traffic- they (we?)sometimes default to lining up, even when a lane is legally open.
Comment Spammers Eat Their Young
I don't buy the whole "I am keeping traffic flowing" argument.
I would argue that it is an incorrect assumption that the people in the back have any control over the flow of traffic. Traffic is mostly caused by an occurrence that is way in front of you (ie an accident, merging of two large highways, rubberneckers, closed lanes, a cop with a radar gun, etc). What happens in the back has no consequence on the flow at the front. And the flow at the front is what 'mostly' controls the back.
Further, because people have to merge back in, someone is most likely going to hit their brakes, which will have an echo effect on all of the cars behind them.
The best thing to do in a traffic jam is to leave space in front of you and hit the brake as infrequently as possible. As well as hit the gas as infrequently as possible. Too many people see a car length in front of them and jam on the gas pedal and then the brake pedal 5 seconds later.
Idiots!
Comment Spammers Eat Their Young
Peter, I agree with your last paragraph ;-)
I used to live in Toronto, which has the second busiest highway in the world.
Not applying your brakes and only applying the gas are key components to helping traffic flow (this, in and of itself disproves your 'only the people in front have control over traffic flow').
In reality anything can slow down traffic flow. I used to watch traffic (I lived close to a bridge over the highway I mentioned above). I once watched a traffic jam happen (2 hours long) because a tractor trailer merged wrong. Cars tried to get out of the way, people slammed on their brakes and all of a sudden traffic was stopped.
It's easy to bring traffic to a stop. It's very hard (with large volumes of cars) to get it moving again.
Which is why, if I'm in the back and can see a space where my car can go without inhibiting anyone or causing anyone to put their brakes on, it does help the flow of traffic.
Also, when I'm merging, it's far worse for me to slow down and try and merge (as there are dozens of people behind me also trying to merge) than it is for me to try and give as many people space in the merge lane as possible, as well as trying to find the largest possible space (greater odds that someone won't put their brakes on).
I'm not really trying to be a tightass about this, but I honestly think we all have little things we think are right or wrong, depending on where we live.
For some examples of driving where I now live, see my recent venting post: http://www.ensight.org/archives/2004/06/09/the_atrocities_of_winnipeg_dr...
I love talking about driving, because it's such a heated thing. It's very cultural, and very much based on what city or area of a city you live in ;-)
Comment Spammers Eat Their Young
sorry, lee. I know this is off target of the original post, but I can't let this lie.
Jeremy - no way! I am gonna be a tightass about this one.
The only thing someone in the back can do, is not make the traffic jam worse. There is no way to improve it (except for improving it for yourself - by seconds only).
There is no altruism in using the break down lane to find a hole ahead of you.
If traffic and cars in a jam were as viscous as water in a funnel, than I could buy your argument. But, there is no traffic ripple effect that goes forward to alleviate the rate limiting problem at the FRONT.
It is like a chemical process with two simultaneous reactions in one reactor. One process is the rate limiting step. No matter how fast you accelerate the other one, the rate limiting step controls the process time. In this case, the rate limiting step is the traffic problem up FRONT.
Someone has to have studied this before. I need to be proven wrong or right on this one.
Cause those people that do the merging piss me off. And I need to be justified in giving them the finger.
Comment Spammers Eat Their Young
Peter, I'd agree... If there weren't people behind every car. By alleviating one spot, it is the same net effect as that person being able to jump forward one 'spot'.
I'm sure we're going to have to agree to disagree on this one. Suffice to say that in Toronto it isn't rude to jump lanes or take openings, unless the opening is unintentional, you are cutting someone off or you are literally waiting until the last second just because you can.
I'd love to do a study on driving habits to see how people react to different things, but to me an open lane is an open lane. There is no reason for me not to take advantage of it, as long as it doesn't harm the flow of traffic.
Comment Spammers Eat Their Young
I will concede that you saved every person behind you the savings (in distance) of one car length in reaching the location of that car (which is still in a traffic jam). Average that car length out over 10 miles at 10mph and you might save something like .002 seconds.
I think a study is in order.
Comment Spammers Eat Their Young
But, when merging, I'm not COSTING anyone any time, as long as I'm not an ass ;-)
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